Can I Keep This Pen?

It’s a  little  known fact that I am very fond of office supplies. I like all sorts of pens, but more than that I like blank notebooks to write stuff in. Then, however, I get very picky about what to write in them (unless it’s my diary) and I think they’re almost to cool to be used. Yes, I have issues.

Anyway, as I was browsing http://lifehacker.com earlier today, I came across an interesting (to me, anyway) article called Lifehacker Readers’ Favorite Pens. They sure have some nice pens out there! I especially like the designs that seem small enough to fit in your pocket, like the Zebra F-301 compact, that I haven’t been able to locate in any German stores:

Zebra F-301

The Fisher Space Pen Bullet also seems cool, if not particularly cheap:

Fisher Space Pen Bullet

After some more googling I came across even more pens, like the Zebra Penpod Mini Keychain Ballpoint Pen:

Zebra Penpod Mini Keychain Ballpoint Pen (I know, the name is longer than the pen!)

And as any pen lover (I suppose there are some?) will know, it wasn’t long anymore until I discovered the amazing, the incredible, the one and only… Lamy Pico Pocket Size Extendable Ballpoint Pen:

Lamy Pico Pocket Size Extendable Ballpoint Pen

My inquiring mind wouldn’t rest until I had checked out how they work on YouTube:

(This, as you can imagine, lead me to some pen spinning videos, but I’ll spare you.)

At any rate, the Lamy Pico is 22,90 EUR on German Amazon and 32.95 USD on Amazon.com and around 30 GBP on Amazon.co.uk, and of course the only reason I’m telling you this is because I want you to go out, buy one and then send it to me. Because me, I’m far too stingy to spend all that money on a pen. Besides, I already have a fancy Waterman ballpoint pen that is so exclusive that it came in its own little coffin!

And now if you please excuse me, I still have a lot of work to do…

PS: You get 10 points if you know what the title of this post refers to.

Music Monday #24: Pregnant Women Are Smug

Lindhome (left) and Micucci

A comedy/folk duo from Los Angeles has recently been making waves in the Internets (and probably also in real life), and you, dear readers, should not be missing out. They call themselves Garfunkel and Oats, they have an official website, a MySpace page and a YouTube Channel and you should check them out.

Garfunkel and Oates consist of Riki Lindhome (see her Wikipedia entry) – who has acted in Buffy, the Gilmore Girls, Pushing Daisies and Bones - and Kate Micucci (see her Wikipedia entry) – who is also an actress and has been in Scrubs and How I Met Your Mother.

Their songs are very sarcastic, and the one I’m picking out is “Pregnant Women Are Smug”, which goes like this:

(Alternative Link)

Pregnant Women Are Smug by Garfunkel and Oates

Pregnant women are smug
Everyone knows it, nobody says it
Because they’re pregnant
Effing son of a gun
You think you’re so deep now, you give me the creeps
Now that you’re pregnant

I can’t count all the ways how
You speak in clichés now

- So, do you want a boy or girl?
- Oh, doesn’t matter as long as it’s healthy
- Really? ‘Cause I don’t feel that those two things are related. It’s not like one or the other.
- Oh, really, as long as it’s healthy.

I can’t wait to hear someone say
“Don’t care if it’s brain dead
Don’t care if it’s limbless
If it has a penis”
Pregnant women are smug
Everyone knows it, nobody says it
Because they’re pregnant

This zen world you’re enjoying
Makes you really annoying

- So, is it a boy or girl?
- Oh, we know, but we’re not telling.
- What you’re gonna name it?
- Oh, we know, but we’re not telling.
- Who’s the father?
- Oh, we know, but we’re not telling.

Bitch, I don’t really care
I was being polite, now
Since you have no life now
That you’re pregnant
You say you’re walking on air
You think that you’re glowing
But you’ve been ho’ing
And now you’re pregnant

You’re just giving birth now
You’re not Mother Earth now

- Oh my gosh, I’ve got so much going on. I got my novel published, I moved, I got married.
- Gosh, you know, everything seems so trivial now that I’m pregnant.
- Well, I also helped end gang violence in Mexico.
- You know, I can’t even remember what I did before I was pregnant. Everything else seems so meaningless.

Pregnant women are smug
Everyone knows it, nobody says it
Because they’re pregnant
Effing son of a gun
You think you’re so deep now
You give me the creeps now
Now that you’re pregnant

See also:
Weed Card Video
Present Face Video

Video Saturday #34: Survival Tips

Inspired by an article on Huffington Post, I figured today I’d bring you some survival videos. You never know when they might come in handy.

What to do if you drive your car into a lake:

(Alternative Link)

How to Survive in the Desert : Basic Survival Kit in the Desert
(Alternative link)

How to Survive in the Desert : How to Make Shelter in the Desert
(Alternative link)

You can also check out more videos about how to survive in the desert, like say, if you are planning a trip to Australia, maybe.

How to survive on a desert island:
Part 1 (boring)
Part 2:


(Part 3 | Part 4 | Alternative link)

How to build an igloo (with great snow and a saw/knife):

(Alternative link)

Of course, I hope none of you will ever find themselves in a situation where they might have to use this knowledge, but it’s good to have heard it, just in case.

xkcd.com tells you how to solve PC problems

While I consider myself somewhat computer savvy, I do realize that there are oodles of computer-related things I know nothing about. Or, as a friend of mine would say, “books could be filled with what I don’t know.” However, the secret is now out how people like me manage to solve most of their computer problems by themselves, as xkcd.com is telling the world. I imagine that if you weren’t part of this elect circle yet, you can now become one of us. (“Us” being the pseudo computer savvy people.)

http://xkcd.com/627/

Rambling: Everything! and FreewareGenius

Today I came across a site called FreewareGenius.com, which – as the name implies – is all about freeware (for Windows systems). Among other things, it features a Freeware Top 20 (that features Launchy as #1, although I’m not sure why) and an article called Forty-Three of The Best Free Windows Enhancements That You Should Know About that might be interesting to some. To me personally, not many of the programs seem that interesting, although I do use TeraCopy to copy files more quickly, and I think Everything is a fantastic program to find files (or when you’re simply too lazy to click through your folder structure). More on that later.

The post has some good suggestions, though, and I’ll be trying 3RVX very soon to enable volume control through hotkeys. Furthermore, Unlocker sounds very useful if you want to delete a file or folder when Windows tells you it’s still in use. Also interesting: Jdownloader: automates downloads from Rapidshare, Megaupload and other file hosting services.

You can get Everything at www.voidtools.com and you totally should. Let me tell you again what it does: It creates an index of all the files on your harddrives (if the HDs are NTFS), which doesn’t take long at all, and then whenever you look for a file, you just type the name into the program and it shows up while you’re still typing. It only searches the filname for this and so it is super-fast. If you’ve ever used the CTRL+F function in Windows to look for a file, you should be able to appreciate this program.

Here’s a video of how it works on YouTube, in case you’re still hesitant to install it, (although the video doesn’t really show that well how useful it is):

Music Monday #23: St. Vincent – Actor Out Of Work

You might’ve come across St. Vincent before. I know I did, but I paid her no mind. However, recently I was researching Ladyhawke‘s song Paris is Burning (you may remember it, since you read this blog regularly) and it turns out that St. Vincent (who was born in 1982 in Tulsa, Oklahoma) also has a song by that name. Geez, the world is such a confusing place. People switching their names, people with the same song titles but different songs. Where will it END!?

The good thing is that Paris is Burning by St. Vincent is very boring, so you can forget that it exists and instead turn your attention to her weird-but-good song Actor Out Of Work. It grows on you, it really does. I’ll have it stuck in my head all day. See the mildly disturbing video below:

(Alternate Link)

And here are the lyrics:

Actor Out Of Work by St. Vincent

You’re a supplement, you’re a salve
You’re a bandage, pull it off
I can quit you, cut it out
You’re a patient, iron lung

You’re a cast signed broken arm
You’re an actor out of work
You’re a liar and that’s the truth
You’re an extra, lost in the scene

You’re a boxer in the ring
With brass knuckles underneath
You’re the curses through my teeth
You’re the laughter, you’re the obscene

You’re a supplement, you’re a salve
You’re a bandage, pull it off
I think I love you, I think I’m mad

You’re a cast signed broken arm
You’re an actor out of work
I think I love you, I think I’m mad

You’re a boxer in the ring
With brass knuckles underneath
I think I love you, I think I’m mad

PS: As I know you are wondering what a salve is:
1 : an unctuous adhesive substance for application to wounds or sores
2 : a remedial or soothing influence or agency
(says Merriam-Webster)

Why we should encourage trap building

In the past few days, two stories have been brought to my attention, that involve unknown animals that have been killed because, you know, if you don’t know what it is, you’d better kill it. It’s a detestable mindset. Of course, if you are being attacked by something and you’re defending yourself, that’s a different story. Take sharks, for example. If you’re in the water and suddenly a shark is gnawing on your leg, it’s perfectly rational to shoot it, stab it or beat it. But if you’re on a boat and the shark is minding its own business in the water, don’t hurt the shark. And don’t rip its fin off and throw the dying, suffering animal back into the ocean. Shark attack victims agree.

The first story comes from Dickson County, Tennessee (see it on the map), where a man reports that he shot a Chupacabra (a “mythical type creature that is of Mexican folklore”) after it trespassed on his property a few times. He said: “It looks like it came from some other place we’d rather not go when we die.” So the guy is obviously religious and figured it was a creature from hell! Kill it, the demon offspring!
Of course, after he killed it, photos were shown to the Tennessee Wildlife and Resources Agency and it turns out it’s likely just a red fox with mange. Compare:

Tennesean Chupacabra (above)

Coyote with mange, as seen on Wikipedia

Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a winner!
So he shot first and asked questions later, and then – even if you get over the fact that he shot it just like that (maybe he did feel threatened) – he just put it on ice for a while? Why not take it to a taxidermist? I mean, surely a stuffed Chupacabra would be a nice trophy for anyone’s fireplace.

The second story comes straight from Cerro Azul, Panama (see it on the map). There, some evil monster was “creeping” out of a cave and startled some teenagers so much that they beat it to death with rocks and sticks. Aww, poor little creepy naked Hoffmann’s 3-toed sloth, or whatever it was:

So this is where the trap-making comes in. If people were more inclined to build traps and outsmart “beasts from hell”/cave-dwellers, they’d have built a trap and taken the creatures to the authorities, where scientists could’ve poked them with needles and probably a) cured the mangy fox, and b) figured out if the other creature is a space-alien or just a naked sloth. In the latter case, they might’ve given him hair implants or a nice wig.

So now, let’s all learn how to build some traps:

Links:
Dickson Co. man believes he killed a Chupacabra [WKRN.com]
Kids Kill Monster in Panama [homorazzi.com]
Strange Creature Washes Ashore in Cerro Azul, Panama [strangeunknown.com]
Survival: Basic Snare Trap For Small Game [YOUTUBE]
Animal Trapping [Wikipedia]

Music Monday #22: Ladyhawke – Back of the Van

When I was in Hungary this summer to catch up with my favorite Hungarian, we were listening to MR2 radio a lot. One of the songs they played there started with:

In the dark, in the back of the van

The voice singing and the style of the song reminded me of The Pretenders. I was sure it must be Chrissie Hynde singing, and the song was probably from the 80ies. How wrong I was! Google addict that I am, I found out quickly that the song was Back Of The Van by Ladyhawke.

Ladyhawke, it turns out, is a singer-songwriter from New Zealand, who was born in 1979 (if you believe the English Wikipedia or The Independent) or 1981 (if you believe the Spanish, German or French Wikipedia). She named herself after the Richard Donner movie of the same name (80ies movie!) and is supposedly better known for her song Paris Is Burning, which you can watch on YouTube. It’s neat, but not as catchy as Back of the Van. Both music videos are kinda 80ies looking, though. In case you were wondering.

Watch the video here:

(Alternative Link)

And the lyrics:

Back Of The Van by Ladyhawke

In the dark, in the back of the van
Cautiously, holding your hand
Making eyes, making everything alright
Being home, being all alone
Feeling sad, watching the phone
Singing out, singing everything’s alright

You set me on, you set me on, you set me on fire
You set me on, you set me on, you set me on fire

In the dark in the back of the van
Cautiously, holding your hand
Making eyes, making everything alright
When I’m out, when I’m far away
Wanting you, wanting to stay
Singing out, singing everything’s alright

You set me on, you set me on, you set me on fire
You set me on, you set me on, you set me on fire

When I wake and I’m far away, I know that you’re leaving
In the dark when I’m all alone, I’m scared that you’re leaving

Cause you set me on, you set me on, you set me on fire
You set me on, you set me on, you set me on fire

Video Saturday #33: Cats!

Yes, the rumors are true, Video Saturday is back! Today with cats and kittens, for no specific reason.

You may remember back on Video Saturday #27 – Viral Videos, I linked to a video of Simon’s cat. Here’s another one of Simon’s Cat videos:

(Alternative link)

Now here is Simon’s Cat in REAL LIFE. (Real life, you know… where the pizza guy comes from.)

(Alternative link)

And another one.

(Alternative link)

Here’s a very short video of a very sleepy kitten:
(Alternative link)

(Alternative Link)

Enjoy.

New York Times reports: Music Monday is back!

Thank you to Wood I. Lie for the informative article. It's much appreciated.

Dear readers,

As you might have read in today’s New York Times, Music Monday will be back this coming Monday, September 14th. Although the return of Music Monday was supposed to be a surprise, I’m happy to report that I have received hundreds of imaginary e-mails since the story broke, most of them from well-wishers that are excited to have their favorite Monday reading material back and who can’t wait to once again be indoctrinated with my superior taste in music. I therefore expect the return of Music Monday to be a huge success, and I want to apologize in advance for all the times when Music Monday will fall on a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Sunday.

Thank you for reading and watch this space!
Regards,
Your Favorite Blogger

PS: Feel free to see a larger version of the NYT article here.